On July 9th, 2011 I attended a Shamanic lucid dreaming class with Robert Moss at the New York Open Center. In one of the exercises as my eyes were closed and the lecturer was drumming this dream unfolded in my mind.
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I am a little kid in the woods. I am wearing a green/white puffy dress. There big trees surround me and leaves crunch under my feet. As I wander around the woods I come across a beautiful brown mushroom with red polka dots. It starts growing before my eyes, getting bigger and bigger. In turn I am getting smaller and smaller…
A door appears in the mushroom stem and opens up, beckoning me to enter. I hesitate to go inside for fear of what will happen to me once I am there. I stand in one spot, frozen, and keep replaying the same scene in my head. I am making my way toward the mushroom and entering through its door. Each time I go through the door I am back at square one again, away from the mushroom making my way toward it. This goes on for a while and then I finally find my feet moving closer to the mushroom… I am moving very slowly, not in any rush to go inside.
As I near the mushroom, I see a white cat chasing a mouse in circles. I stand there mesmerized by the scene of the cat and mouse and begin to smile. Then I hear the door swing back and forth. That brings me out of my trance and I finally make my way through the door.
Once inside, I find myself falling. I am falling a long way down and end up crashing into the river. There is a waterfall nearby. My grandfather’s face is visible behind it and I hear him telling me to beware.
The waterfall and the river disappear now and I find myself on land with a giant rock wall. It opens up as I near it and I find myself blocked by another wall. Again, it opens as I approach it. There seem to be endless walls like it, opening one after the other to let me through. Once all the walls open, I end up in a cave-like room with gold coins raining down from the sky. They turn to snow as they touch me on the way down and land on the ground. I start to feel like I am now surrounded by mountains in the winter and I begin to shiver.
A face of a lion comes into my view. Once it sees me it opens its mouth wide and sticks out its tongue, beckoning me to enter. I enter into his open mouth and end up in the bathroom of an unknown house. I am now a teenager standing naked in the shower, the water, the color of blood, falling down on me. I scream and jump out of the shower. I run down the stairs at full speed and dash out of the house ending up in a cemetery.
I am running as fast as I can, still naked, through the cemetery and fall into a grave. Grandpa is there and I fall through him (like a ghost) back into the river. I am drowning, flailing my arms, holding on for dear life.
In the distance I see the guys, I went out with in the past, standing with girls in their embrace, smiling and kissing with passionate abandon. They start turning like a twister and go up into the air. Once in the air, they vanish as if they were never there, leaving me there to drown.
I am still in the river drowning when my best friend appears and gives me his hand. I reach for it and I am now on the shore and in the safety of his embrace. As soon as we embrace he vanishes as if he was never there to begin with.
I stand there unsure of what is going on and hear grandpa’s voice again telling to beware… Then I end up in a long hallway. Those same guys I saw before, but without their girls, are running after me with arms outstretched. They appear as old men then and I am back to being a little kid. I run for my life, away from them, and run into grandpa again.
This time grandpa is sitting on the couch in the living room. He is very still. The television is on but there is only static and noise. On the table I see a lit cigarette, its ash falling to the floor. The floor collapses beneath me and I am falling again.
Finally I stop falling and end up in a dark room that gets smaller and smaller, its walls closing in on me. I am now back to being a teenager. “Beware, beware!” someone yells. I can’t see the person but the voice sounds like grandpa’s. The red walls are so close now that I am feeling crushed. I close my eyes and scream at the top of my lungs.
When I open my eyes I find myself in a pool of blood and my eyes are blood red and hollow. I am an old lady. My body is thin and it is shaking. I stretch out my hands and fly into the night, bats surrounding me. I fly and fly and end up in the cemetery near my grandpa’s grave.
A dark red rose appears in my hand and I place it on the grass beside the monument. I lie down beside the rose and feel calm and comforted. I am still an old lady. I am wearing a sheer white gown and my white hair is falling down in waves. My eyes are now a brilliant white. I am at peace. I close my eyes and drift away. As I do I hear grandpa whisper in the wind, “You are safe now my darling.”
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