The Story Behind "Nowhere to Be Found"

On August 24th, 2011 at around 8:30 in the morning Adam Lambert's chorus from "If I Had You" (my ringtone at the time) started blasting from my cell phone. This is one of my favorite songs, yet hearing it then didn't bring a smile to my face, especially when I looked up the caller ID and saw that it was my paternal grandmother calling. I wondered why she was calling at such an early hour. Something just didn't seem right. She never called this early.

I picked up the phone expecting to hear my grandmother's voice. Instead I heard the voice of her home attendant telling me that she had come in to the house, so still and quiet, to find my grandmother unmoving in her bed, my grandfather lying beside her, his hand stroking her head. I managed to hold it together while she was on the phone with me - telling me the sad, shocking news and then complaining about how she couldn't get a hold of my parents for a long time. She had every right to complain because the body had been lying there for hours and needed to be moved to the funeral home. But that was not something I wanted to hear. I had to try to get a hold of my parents but more importantly I wanted to go and see my grandmother for the last time and say my good-bye.

After I hung up the phone the waterworks started. I was shaking and I couldn't stop crying. I could not believe she was gone...

It was hard for me to find out that my grandmother was no longer with us. It tore me up inside and for a long time I could not come to terms with her passing. For a while it felt as if she were still with us. More than once I had the urge to pick up the phone and call her, or stop by her house for a visit, but of course there was no one to call, no one to visit. She was gone and nothing would bring her back.

One day I came to the cemetery to visit my grandmother. I scanned for her grave, scanned for that little name tag (the monument was not up at the time) to let me know where she was peacefully dreaming, but it was nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere near where her grave site should be but it was all in vain. I started to panic; wondered about what happened to her, and why her grave was nowhere in sight. Then this thought came into my mind - why am I looking for her here in the cemetery when I should be visiting her in her own home? She isn't dead. She is in her bed peacefully dreaming...

With a burial taking place nearby I had no choice but to stop looking for her and go home. Before leaving I went into the management office and told them that I couldn't find my grandmother's grave. They took out a map of the grounds and showed me where it was. Turns out I didn't look far enough. I let out a sigh of relief that she was all right but then it dawned on me that I had come to the right place after all. She was not in her bed peacefully dreaming beside her husband. She was here, alone in this cold underground lair that has become her new home...

This incident inspired me to write an emotional poem about the loss of a loved one called "Nowhere To Be Found", which is featured in an e-magazine called In the Gesture of Words. I am very honored to have this poem be chosen to be a part of this magazine.

Below you will find this poem. I hope that it touches you in some way.

Nowhere To Be Found

I come to visit you
Amongst the tombstones and piles of dirt
To place some carnations and stones
Onto your new underground lair
To reminisce about the days that passed
And talk of days to come

I come to say hello
Come to say how much I miss you
How much I love you
My eyes scan for your name tag
But it is nowhere to be found

I wonder if you’ve been
Evicted from your new home
Or if I’ve simply come to the wrong address
Perhaps you’re still there in your old home
Lying beside your husband peacefully dreaming

How I Wrote and Published My Debut Novel

Ever since I mastered the English language it was my dream to be a published author with many books to my name. I didn't want to publish just poetry and lyric books. I wanted to write and publish my own novel. It took a while but finally I made that dream a reality. I have brought to life my debut novel called The Secret Life of Ashley Miles, which is now available on lulu.com, Amazon, and barnesandnoble.com.

I wanted to share with you my journey of bringing The Secret Life of Ashley Miles to life. What led me to write the novel, the process of writing it, which involved editing, and finally getting it published into a paperback book. Hopefully, you will find what I share with you useful and will be able to apply it if you are thinking of writing and publishing a novel yourself.

What Led Me to Write The Secret Life of Ashley Miles

Sometimes stories are born from a title or a phrase that pops into a writer's head. That is what happened to me and how my debut novel The Secret Life of Ashley Miles came to life.

A few years ago, as I was walking home from the library one day, the title The Secret Life of Ashley Miles came into my head. I have no idea why it happened, and why that particular title appeared as opposed to another one, but I am sure glad it did because after this title came to me a story idea was beginning to come together in my head. The main character would be Ashley Miles and the story would be about her life after graduating high school. It would include struggles of finding work, moving out on your own, falling in love and establishing a lasting relationship, and making your dreams a reality... something that many teens face and what I had faced as well and was actually facing still at the moment of writing the novel...

Food for Thought

• Let me tell you that while writing the story may be hard, editing the story is even harder. In this step you not only have to make sure that all your grammar, punctuation and spelling is correct, but you also have to make sure that everything flows smoothly and that there are no flaws in the story. You have to sit there reading every chapter, not only with your head but with your eyes and edit it as you read. Then when you are done you have to read the novel again from start to finish and most likely edit some more. It seems like a never-ending process and it is hard to tell yourself that you are finally done and that no more editing is required. You want the novel to be perfect and it can be hard to decide if you got there or if there are still minor things that need to be altered. To help you with all this it is a good idea to get other people to read the novel and offer their feedback. This can help you fix any issues you may have overlooked and improve the story.

• When you get negative feedback for your novel do not get discouraged. If your novel is published don't unpublish it. And if you were planning to publish it don't stop. That negative feedback is just the opinion of that person and does not mean that your novel is of a poor quality and that the story is not good enough to be published and shared with the world. You can't please everyone. There will always be haters. See if you can get something positive out of that negative feedback and then push it aside!

My Journey Writing The Secret Life of Ashley Miles

As soon as I came home that day, I opened up a blank MS Word document and wrote down the title, jotting down the story ideas that had come to me. They included things happening to Ashley and other characters that would be in the story. Doing that I realized that the things I was writing down resembled my own personal experiences. The things that the main character (Ashley Miles) was going to go through were things that I had gone through and experienced in my own life. Now the story would take on a whole new meaning for me because it would be based on what I had gone through and experienced in my own life. I would essentially be sharing a part of myself with the world.

After getting those ideas down on paper I began to write the story. I didn't care about grammar, punctuation, spelling or formatting. All I cared about was bringing the story to life. So, while writing, I focused solely on getting the story on paper and nothing else. The thorough editing would come once I finished writing the story. I will admit though that there were moments where I had written some lines and then rewrote them as I had slightly different ideas or different wording pop into my head right after the original thought. For the most part though I didn't really edit as that wasn't my goal at that moment. Starting and finishing the story was.

Little by little the story began to unfold. Since it was based on my own personal experiences writing the story came naturally and with ease. I was happy with the way things were turning out and how the story was coming together. Unfortunately, about midway through writing the novel I hit a roadblock, which was quite unexpected for me.

It was time to write a new chapter in the story but my mind drew a blank and I had no idea how to proceed further. Whenever I managed to come up with something I ended up rejecting it. I was left with a blank page and had to start all over again. I didn't want to force anything so I put the novel aside and didn't work on it any further for a while. It was after that hiatus, which lasted probably at least a few months, that things started to progress in the story. The words just started coming to me. A new chapter was born and the story continued. After that it was smooth sailing in terms of writing the story until its ending. There were no more roadblocks like that to face.

I am not sure how long it actually took me to write the novel from start to finish, but it doesn't really matter. The important thing was that it was brought to life. All that was left to do was edit it and then I would be ready to share the novel with the world.

Having edited the novel many times I thought the novel was ready to be shared with the world so I chose to publish it with Lulu. I started the book project and was ready to upload the file, get an ISBN for my book, create the book cover, and then complete the rest of the process to get my book published... Before proceeding though I decided it would be best to get some people to read the novel first and let me know their thoughts on it. This way, in the event that I had missed something, whether it'd be typos or minor flaws in the storyline or the flow of the story, I'd be able to get it fixed before publishing the novel.

I didn't want to email people my manuscript, for fear of it being intercepted, so I published the novel on writing.com, made it a private item, and set a passkey for it so it could be accessed by those to whom I sent the link. No one else would have access to the novel but those few people.

The few people (people I knew) that I had asked to read my novel and provide feedback for it gave positive feedback. They told me that they loved the story, enjoyed reading it from start to finish, and that they would not change anything in the story. That made me feel great about the novel and I was ready to get back to my book project on Lulu and proceed to upload the manuscript, create my book cover, and finally publish the book.

Then things suddenly came to a stop when I received feedback from one writing.com member (someone I didn't know whom I had asked to read and comment on my novel). That person gave me negative feedback, which greatly affected me and not in a good way. It made me feel that my novel was not good enough, and not worthy of being published and shared with others. This led me to push the novel aside and delete the book project from Lulu. I almost deleted the actual manuscript from my computer. Thankfully I never went through with it and I am glad I didn't because, now that the negative feedback no longer affects me and I realize that that person's opinion is just one opinion and doesn't mean the novel is bad, I chose to finally publish the novel. It is now available on Lulu, Amazon, and barnesandnoble.com to share with the world.

My Journey Publishing The Secret Life of Ashley Miles

Once the editing of The Secret Life of Ashley Miles was complete I now had to ready the file for publication. I had to turn the MS Word document into an actual manuscript. I needed to have a title page, a copyright page, and an author bio. Then I needed to number the pages, include the title of the novel and author name in the header, set the page size to 6x9 (as my book would be 6x9 size), set the margins and choose the font for the novel. And since I was publishing the novel with Lulu I also had to make sure that the page count was divisible by four and that the last page of the manuscript was left completely blank.

I wasn't done there. Since I was planning to sell the book outside of Lulu, in places like Amazon and barnesandnoble.com, I needed to get an ISBN for my book. (Just selling the book on Lulu doesn't require an ISBN). I didn't want to deal with trying to obtain an ISBN for my book on my own, and didn't even know where to get one, so I opted to get an ISBN directly from Lulu, which was free. All I had to do was start a new book project on Lulu and select the option to obtain an ISBN for the book directly from Lulu. I got an ISBN for the book right away and was able to insert it into the copyright page of the manuscript. This ISBN can only be used with Lulu but it doesn't matter to me. I am not planning on finding another publisher for it.

After getting the ISBN into the manuscript I saved the file as a PDF and uploaded it into my book project. It was then that I had to move on to the next step, which was to create a book cover for my novel. I could have used one of the images and/or backgrounds that were available on Lulu but I didn't want to do that as I wanted the book cover to be unique and not contain images that others may use in their books. So, I had to come with something on my own.

I knew that I wanted a diary on the front cover but I didn't want it to take up the entire page. This meant that I also needed a background image for the front cover and for the back cover as well. I didn't want the background to be plain solid color, so I had to create the background images myself. I didn't have any pictures of my own to use and didn't want to use anything from the Internet as I may have ended up with an image that I wasn't allowed to use or that was used by someone else. That's where my creativity kicked in.

For the diary I took an image of my own leather diary that had a lock and a key hanging from it. And for the background I took a picture of one of my couch pillows. I changed the color of the pillow picture so it was brighter and matched the diary more color-wise. Then I uploaded all the images into Lulu's cover creator and tweaked them until I was pleased with what I saw. Then I added the title and author name to the front cover and the spine, the Lulu logo to the spine, and the book description to the back cover, along with a photo of me and a few words about me. I was done. I clicked to make the cover into a PDF and save it and then proceeded to include relevant book information, choose the price of the book, and hit the button to publish the project. My book was now published an available for sale on Lulu. It is also available on Amazon, and barnesandnoble.com thanks to Lulu's distribution service, which I opted for.

Why I Chose to Publish My Novel With Lulu

• I have total control over how my book cover looks, how my interior looks, and how the story unfolds... There is no one to tell me what to do!
• I can make changes to the manuscript and re-upload the manuscript and fix the book cover, if needed, even after the book has been published and available for sale. 
• I get a free ISBN for my book and I don't have to pay to get my book published as it's free to publish a book with Lulu. 
• I decide how much I make per each book sale and what the price of the book will be. 
• When I buy my own book I pay what it costs to manufacture the book not the retail price of the book, which means that I save money. 
• When someone buys my book I can see when it was bought, where it was bought from, and how much I made for that book. 
• I need to earn as little as $5 to get paid my royalties, which are sent to my PayPal account. The payments are made monthly, not quarterly or longer than that. I don't have to go through the following: search for an agent, suffer through writing a query letter, find a publisher for my book, and face rejection after rejection until hopefully finally finding a publisher who will want to publish my novel into a book.

Writing and Publishing My Poetic Tale Treasure

I am a huge fan of poetry and love when a poem tells a story or a tale, especially one that takes a reader on an emotional and even adventurous journey.

One day I decided to write a poetic tale. I had no idea if I would be able to pull it off, had no idea what would come out of it, but I took a shot. I had nothing to lose and a lot to gain.

It wasn't easy writing this poetic tale because I wanted it to have four line stanzas and I wanted them all to rhyme and in a certain way. I also wanted the tale to be engaging, moving and enjoyable for the reader and I didn't want any part of it to sound forced, especially because of the rhyme scheme that I had to follow.

At one point I even faced writer's block. I didn't give up though. I just took a short break from it and then got back to it with a fresh mind. In the end I managed to pull it off. I had written my poetic tale.

I will admit that it wasn't perfect. My first stanza turned out to be more than four lines and not all the rhymes are perfect rhymes. But all that is not as important as the story itself. It turned out great and the people that had read the story told me positive things about it and that is what is important here.

I was very proud of myself for setting a writing goal and actually achieving it. It also made me feel good inside knowing that I had created something that people were responding to in a positive way. It was an incredible feeling.

I wanted to share my poetic tale not just with these few people but with the world... That's when I decided to publish my poetic tale, not just online on a writing website but as an actual book. I used Lulu to make that happen. I now have a poetic tale published called Treasure that is available in a pocket size paperback and an e-book. It's available on Lulu and on Amazon in both formats. I am very proud of this accomplishment and can't wait to write and publish another poetic tale in the future. Maybe it will even be a sequel to Treasure. I already have a little bit written for it. I just have to pick up where I had left off.

My poetic tale Treasure is about a guy named Fin who sets out to find a land that others deem to not exist. When he finds it it is there that he comes upon a girl lying on the shore. Not knowing her name he calls her Angel. After bringing Angel back to life they set out on many adventures together and she becomes his true love. Of course everything is not perfect. Obstacles come upon them, obstacles that try to tear them apart... Will they be able to rise above and stay together, keeping their love alive? Or will everything crumble and lead them to be apart from each other forever...?

Writing a story or a tale may prove to be a difficult task. Writing one that is in the form of poetry may prove to be even harder.

No matter how hard it may be we should get out of our comfort zones and try new things; we should challenge ourselves by writing and creating something in a different style than we are used to. In this way we can not only become better writers but we can also discover things about ourselves that we didn't know existed, things we never thought we were capable of.

Poetry Anthology Voices of the World

One of the things that I always wanted to do was put together a poetry anthology that featured poets from different parts of the world who wanted to be heard and dreamed of having their work in print. It was always on the back of my mind, yet I never got around to actually going through with it.

I finally decided it was actually time to put together and publish my first poetry anthology. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get enough poets interested to be able to publish a book. With the help of a friend and fellow poet I succeeded and Voices of the World was born.

Since I did not want to have a specific theme for this anthology I left it up to the poets to decide what they wanted to write about and in what poetic style their work would be. This resulted in a diverse anthology of poetry with something for everyone to enjoy.

Voices of the World is a wonderful collection of poetry featuring forty-six poets from around the world (me being one of them). These poets come from such countries as United States, Canada, Ireland, France, Romania, India, and Russia, among others. They showcase their work to the world by sharing two of their poems written in their own unique voices and writing styles.

The poets that are featured in Voices of the World are very passionate in their craft. When they write they leave themselves on the page and it shows through in their work. I think their poetry leaves a lasting impression and leaves us with something to think about.

Every poet deserves the chance to be heard, to be in the spotlight, and my poetry anthology lets them do just that.

I am very proud of this anthology and am happy that I brought the book to life. I will treasure it for a lifetime. I got my own copy and have read it many times. I enjoy the book each time I read it. There is always something new that I discover when I dive into the book. I can't wait for people to get their own copy so they can enjoy all the treasures that lie inside.

For those interested in obtaining a copy of Voices of the World, the poetry anthology is available in paperback format on lulu.com, amazon, barnesandnoble.com, and in other online retailers. Happy reading!

Poetry Anthology Whispers in the Wind

Giving poets the chance to be published in print and among other talented poets is a great feeling. Having put together and published the first poetry anthology called Voices of the World I decided to do another anthology.

While I chose to have the first anthology contain poems on any topic the poets chose to write about, I wanted the second one to have a theme. Nature was the first thing that came to mind as I love nature so much, and write nature poetry myself on many occasions. And that is how Whispers in the Wind was born.

I feel that nature poems can be very captivating with lots of beautiful imagery that readers can vividly picture in their mind. It's like looking at a painting without actually having it in front of you. It lets people, with their unique imagination and visualization, bring the poetry to life in their mind, interpreting what is being described in their own unique way. Nature poems can also prove to be inspiring, refreshing, and can lift the spirits of people too...

Just like the Voices of the World, Whispers in the Wind also has poets from different countries around the world. In this poetry anthology, the poets showcase two nature poems a piece for the enjoyment of readers, sharing their experiences, visions, and connection to nature in their own unique way. With each poetic creation, they paint memorable images with their distinctive vision and creativity, in turn bringing to life enjoyable treats that will engage at least some of the five senses of readers, as well as make readers feel and perhaps be inspired and uplifted in the process.

For poetry lovers and those that enjoy nature this poetry anthology is a great addition to your poetry collection. Reading this book once you will surely want to pick up the book again for another read time and time again. I am proud to have put together and published this wonderful anthology, and to have shared two of my own nature poems in it as well.

Every time I read this anthology I feel my emotions soar, which to me is very important. I also am able to get lost in the words and picture in my mind what the poets bring to life with their words. My creativity soars, and I feel inspired, having a burning desire to write more nature poetry, and poetry in general.

For those interested in obtaining a copy of Whispers in the Wind, the poetry anthology is available in paperback format on lulu.com, amazon, barnesandnoble.com, and in other online retailers. Happy reading!

I Finally Published My Limerick Book Scenes from a Quirky Life

Yesterday, I finally published my limerick book Scenes from a Quirky Life.

My next step is to get distribution for the book so it becomes available online on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and other online retailers.

I also have to order a proof copy of the book before I can approve the book for distribution.

Hopefully, there will not be anything in need of fixing and I will be good to go.

But if I do find something in need of fixing, I will have to republish the book and buy another proof copy before I will be able to approve the book.

Fingers crossed that will not happen!

Will Be Publishing My First Limerick Book

Thanks to my friend Regis Auffray who got me into limericks I will be publishing my first ever limerick book. The title will be Scenes from a Quirky Life. My book will have four limericks per page and will be around 50 pages. That makes for about 160 limericks. Not bad for a first limerick book in my opinion. 

I have less than 36 limericks left to write for the book and then it's on to proofing and editing. Once this book is published, which I am very excited about, I will have a total of twelve published books under my belt, in addition to the two poetry anthologies I published.

I don't know yet when I will publish this book but I hope to get it out this year.

Working on New Book of Poetry and Lyrics

I am working on my new book, which will have both poetry and lyrics in it. I already have some writings in it that have been previously written but never published in my previous books. And I am writing new material as well. Have already written three new poems.

Thanks to a friend of mine I also have a front cover image chosen for the book with a possible title of Frozen in Time.  I may end up changing my mind later when it comes to the title, and maybe even the front cover image, but at least things are moving along for me. I am not sure when I will actually publish the book. Would be nice to get it out there by the end of the year, but most likely it will be sometime in 2018. Once published, it will be my 11th book to-date.

Putting Together and Publishng Poetry Anthologies

There are poets out there who dream of being published in a book and among other poets like them. That is why I have decided to put together poetry anthologies (to be published through Lulu) that give poets the chance to be published in a book and to share their creations with the world, hence making their dreams come true. I do not charge any fees for poets to be in the anthology. And poets are not required to buy the book they are in; though I do not get why someone that is in an anthology, would not want to own a copy.

I have already published and released a poetry anthology called Voices of the World that features poets from around the world, showcasing poems on a variety of topics, and am now working on publishing a second poetry anthology called Whispers in the Wind. This one will actually have a theme, which is nature poetry, and will also have poets from different countries participating. I love nature and am excited for the book's release. 

My Ninth Book Is Out Titled An Unforgettable Journey

I published a new book. It's my ninth book to-date. Title of the book is An Unforgettable Journey. The book is a collection of poetry, lyrics, and prose on different topics. I was planning to publish this book by the end of last year but didn't because I wanted to write more material for it. In the end I chose not to write any new material for the book so published it in January 2015 after making some edits on already existing items and removing some from the manuscript altogether. The book is only 108 pages but it is still a great book and I am proud of it. Right now the book is only available at lulu.com but will be available on Amazon and online at Barnes and Noble soon.

I’m a published author… Get your hands on my books at my storefront, on Amazon, at Barnes and Noble (online) and in many other places online.

My New Blog: Poetry, Lyrics, Prose and More

While I have my writing published on various writing websites I have decided to start a blog on Google called Timeless Treasures that will feature only my writing - poetry, lyrics, prose, fiction, etc. 

Please check it out and leave feedback on whatever you read. Thanks so much!!!

Here is the link: Timeless Treasures


I’m a published author… Get your hands on my books at my storefront, on Amazon, at Barnes and Noble (online) and in many other places online.

Feelings Can Change...

Sometimes we love something and then time passes and we don't feel the same about that something anymore. Do we go ahead and change it? Or do we leave it as is?

I have published seven books, which was a lot of hard work and a lot of stress too. I am surely happy with my books and am very proud of them but now I wish I had done things a little differently and am wondering if I should make changes to my books and republish them... 

For one the back covers have no design on them. They are just plain one color background, which I was fine with before but am not anymore. Though the colors are bright it still makes for a plain back cover and I don't like that. Then some of my books have no author pic or have an author pic that isn't the best one. On top of that I wish the interior had some beautiful design in it. And I wish some book covers were different too...

So, now I am battling with myself. Do I go ahead and make all these changes? Or do I just simply let it go and leave everything as is? First, I tell myself to go through with it. Then I tell myself to forget about it. Then I tell myself to go through with it again... It's an ongoing battle. Back and forth between one and the other, unable to make that final decision. I wonder if this battle will ever come to an end because it is getting frustrating to say the least.

So, what should I do...? Any ideas???


I’m a published author… Get your hands on my books at my storefront, on Amazon, at Barnes and Noble (online) and in many other places online.

My 7th Book, (A Crimson Tide) Is Finally Published!

A Crimson Tide, Lena Kovadlo

My 7th book A Crimson Tide is finally published. It is my second poetry book. Below is a description for this book:

Our lives are like the tide, forever flowing in different directions, taking on different paths and shades based on varying circumstances that come upon them. Our lives are a forever changing of colors just like the tide. 

As you dive into the pages of A Crimson Tide you will find yourself swimming through the various colors of our lives from nature’s beautiful palate, to red strokes of love and heartbreak, to the black veil that falls upon us when loved ones pass away from us, to darkening the pale where things become darker, deeper, philosophical, and psychological, where we battle with ourselves, and question our existence and our purpose in life.

This book is currently available at lulu.com. It will be available on amazon soon!

Click here to preview and purchase the book.


I’m a published author… Get your hands on my books at my storefront, on Amazon, at Barnes and Noble (online) and in many other places online.